


pieces

by sunshinesimon



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, baz died, dead!baz, sad simon, this was my first fic ever!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 21:31:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13772985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinesimon/pseuds/sunshinesimon
Summary: simon grieves after baz“Of course it was going to be fire that took you. You were always obsessed with it, you said I was the sun, and that everything would end in flames. And you were right, as per usual"





	pieces

**Author's Note:**

> this was thet first fic i ever wrote! hope you enjoy

I tried to bring you with me everywhere.

Contain you in everything I did.

Ever since you left.

You left me.

And now I’m alone.

In the beginning Penny came back for me, she grieved too. But it wasn’t enough,

And eventually she had to go back to America, I couldn’t keep her from her own life with Micah.

That goddamned fire. Of course it was going to be a fire that took you. You were always obsessed with it, you said I was the sun, and that everything would end in flames.

And you were right, as per usual.

And then, when I was sorting through your things, I found your clothes and it smelt like you. Like cedar. I started wearing your clothes, they were all too big for me, but I didn’t care, I still don’t. I was bringing a piece of you with me wherever I went.

If Penny knew, she would have thought I’d lost it.

Maybe I had.

And then I found your cologne. Bergamot. I started spraying it everywhere, so I still had a piece of you with me when I was at home.

But I wasn’t really home.

And then I read all your books. Every single one of them. Even if I didn’t understand what was happening, or if it was in of the many languages you spoke. It took me a while, but I got there. You know that I’m stubborn.

I wondered what your opinions were about these stories, these other worlds that you traveled to through the pages. You had thought about these stories once upon a time. It was like I had a piece of your mind with me.

And every morning and night when I looked in the mirror I wondered what you ever saw in me. In these bags under my ordinary blue eyes, the golden curls that haven’t been brushed in weeks, in my moles. For some reason you loved them, you said they were like constellations. For some reason you loved all of me.

Just how I loved all of you.

Just how I still love all of you.

And I realised that my heart was yours. Is yours. It will always be yours. You own me. You own my heart, you will forever, until we meet again. And then forever after that.

You said that I was the sun. And if I was the sun you were the solar system, and the stars and my whole universe.

In the end I always had a piece of you with me, you own my heart, and I will carry that piece with me forever.


End file.
